


Sherlock in Various Forms of Dragons

by spideys_ass



Category: Sherlock (TV), The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Crack Fic, Crack Treated Seriously, Gen, John is Bilbo, M/M, Mycroft is Gandalf, Sherlock is Smaug, Sherlock's a cute lil baby Smaug, Smauglock, humanoid smaug, not randomly I guess, people randomly turning into animals, well that's pretty obvious
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-04
Updated: 2017-07-04
Packaged: 2018-11-23 11:57:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,431
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11401947
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spideys_ass/pseuds/spideys_ass
Summary: ---Complete and utter crack taken slightly seriously---Sherlock as a tiny lil Smaug dragon, then Sherlock as a small puppy Smaug dragon, then Sherlock as a big Smaug dragon, then Sherlock as a humanoid Smaug dragon. And Johnlock along the way:)





	1. Sherlock the Tiny Lil Smaug Dragon

"John no! John stop touching me! I am fire, I am death!" John was stroking the tiny dragon's scales. 

"Aww... but you're so tiny! And cute!" Exclaimed John, still caressing the small ruby coloured features. 

Sherlock hissed, little sparks coming out of his mouth as he did so. "Do you think flattery will keep you alive?" Sherlock jerked to the side, beating his wings, trying his best to escape John's grasp, to no avail. 

"Okay," John placed Sherlock back down on the kitchen table. "I'm gonna make a cuppa, but I don't know how I could... Oh!"  
John rushed out of the room, leaving behind a puzzled dragon staring after him. 

Sherlock grumbled, rotated around three times, and laid down. John emerged soon after, a thimble in his hands. "I could use this, you could drink your tea out of this, Sherlock!" He only received a grumble in response. 

Sherlock thought back to the day previous, in which he had not been a tiny dragon, but a tallish, shorter-than-people-thought human. 

 

He and John were working a case, in which a little boy approached him with a baby bunny, claiming it to be his missing toddler brother. Boring!- was his first initial reaction, shoving the little boy out of the flat before the boy, George, spoke again.

"Mr. Holmes! Wait I can prove it to you!" 

"Oh yes, I'm sure." Sherlock replied, ignoring the child, not even attempting to keep the sarcasm from seeping out into his voice. 

"I can! I really can! He can talk!" 

Sherlock froze. "Talk? Who can talk? Your brother can talk? Most toddlers can talk. Does that surprise you? Who did you think could talk? You surely don't think the rabbit can talk? Do you?" 

George didn't even seem fazed. "Yes Mr. Holmes. Adler-" The boy raised up the bunny- "can talk."

Sherlock sniffed, staring at the wall behind the boy. "Interesting!" He snapped, turning his gaze to the rabbit directly. He then yanked the boy's arm, pulling him back to the client chair. 

Sherlock sat in his chair, elbows on knees, fingertips pressed together. "Go on then. Don't be shy."

The boy looked confused. "Go on, what?"

Sherlock sighed. "Jawwwwwwn. Please, I can't deal with this."

John also sighed. "He means go on and prove it. Make the rabbit- Adler- make him talk." 

"Oh. Alright then." George lifted the little fluffball up, so it could see his face. "Come on now, Adler, talk to me. What's your favourite show on the telly?"

The rabbit sniffed. Then it sniffed again. 

Sherlock jumped up. "Okay I think it's time we-"

"I like Arthur. And Shaun the Sheep. But I think I like Arthur better."

Sherlock stared. And stared. And stared. And then sat back down, elbows on knees, fingertips pressed together. 

"Um... Sh- Sherlock... Did that rabbit just talk?"

"Yes it did! See I told you! I told you it was really Adler!" 

"Sherlock? Sherloooooock?" John waved his hand in front of Sherlock's face. "Earth to Sherlock." 

"Don't you snap at me, John!" Sherlock snarled. I can hear you perfectly fine!"

"If you can hear me, you should acknowledge me."

"Why?"

"Because it's polite."

Sherlock huffed. "Exactly. You should know better, John."

"Um...." The little looked between the two of them rapidly. "So are you gonna take the case?"

Sherlock gave his best are-you-dumb face before jumping up, grabbing his coat, and turning to the boy. "Bring me to the place where you first saw him in this form! We leave immediately. Come along John, don't dilly-daddle!" 

 

John returned, cup in one hand, and in the other, a thimble filled to the brim with tea, which he placed next to the snoozing creature. "For a dragon, you're awfully soft." John picked up the tiny critter by the tail. 

"John! John nooooo! Put me down! You will buuuuuuurn!" Sherlock repeatedly beat his wings, accomplishing nothing except breezing John. 

"Alright, alright. Listen," John lifted the dragon up to his face, staring him straight into his golden eyes. "Sherlock, while I'm at the surgery, be good, alright? Don't hurt yourself, don't try to fly, don't leave the flat, in fact, don't try to leave this room at all, okay? For your own safety." John placed Sherlock on the couch, patting his head. 

"My protection?" The tiny thing roared, jumping onto the arm rest. John grabbed his coat. 

"Yes, your protection. Have a good day, Sherlock. Try not to scratch up the furniture." With that, the door closed, and John was gone. 

"My protection! Hah!" Sherlock roared once more before flopping down, stretching out across the couch. "Tiny hobbit thinks he can boss around a mighty dragon!" He mumbled, dozing off.


	2. Sherlock as a Small Puppy Smaug Dragon

"Sherlock! I'm back!" John shouted into the seemingly empty flat. "Sherlock?" John checked the living room. "Sherlock?" He called. "Oh christ, tell me he didn't leave the flat. Sherlock where are you?" 

"There is no Sherlock! There is only Smaug, king under the mountain!" The roar came from the kitchen, which John dashed to immediately. 

John sighed a relieved sigh. "Oh there you are. Sherlock."

The dragon roared, sparks flying onto piles and piles of scientific research papers. "No Sherlock! Smaug! King under-"

"Yes, I've got it, thanks." John patted the papers, trying to make sure the sparks didn't set anything on fire. "O Great Smaug the Stupendous, king under the mountain." 

Sherlock bared his teeth, smiling... more or less. "Now that's more like it, John."

"Uh-huh. Yeah. Well," John lifted up some plastic bags. "I did some shopping. I got the normal groceries... milk and the lot... and..."

"And?" The little dragon cocked his head to the side, eyes wide, curious. 

"And I went to the pet store." John smiled tediously.

"You- you- WHAT?" Sherlock cried in outrage. He beat his wings furiously, trying to frighten his flatmate. "YOU WENT WHERE?" 

John laughed, giggled more like, in Sherlock's mind. He soon was bent over, wheezing. "You're still... so... adorable!" He managed to get out, before erupting in a new bundle of high pitched 'tee-hee-hee's. 

"Call me adorable again and I will gut you, head to toe, and use your heart as my pillow, and your lungs as my blanket!" 

"Okay, okay, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. But look," John placed one of the bags on the table. "A hamster wheel! I thought that would be fun, you could just run around if you get restless, instead of destroying the flat." 

Due to John rummaging through the bag again, he didn't see the death glare he was receiving from Sherlock. "Okay so I also go this little hamster bed, it's the perfect size, so I'm sure you could sleep comfortably in it."

John placed it on the kitchen table. "Go on." Sherlock grumbled, looking away. John sighed, gesturing towards it. "Cmon, Sherlock."

The dragon snarled. "I will not sleep in a bed intended for a hamster!" He spat, venomously. 

At that point, John picked him up again by the tail, and dangled him over the bed. "Jawwwwwwwn!" Sherlock whined. Then John dropped him, looking smug, crossing his arms over his chest. 

"There. Like it?" Sherlock adjusted himself in it. 

"It's... comfortable... enough, I suppose." 

"Good. Well, now we just need to find a way to turn you back. Maybe. Maybe not. Maybe you could stay like this."

"No, John! I am not staying this small, it would give you too much satisfaction. And that is most definitely not a possibility." Sherlock nuzzled his snout against the soft material of his new bed. 

"Well, what do we do now? It's not exactly like you can just walk out of here searching for a case." 

"Actually we could, but it's probably too late in the day to start anything anyway. We could watch some crap telly?" Sherlock suggested. 

"Uh sure. I'll order some take-away." John turned ready to walk away as Sherlock tried to get off the table. He started off at the farthest edge of the table, flapping his wings, and then he ran. When he got to edge he jumped, expecting to soar. Instead, he started falling. 

"Sherlock!" John leaped to his rescue, catching him way before neared the ground. 

"Jawwwn!" Sherlock snapped back from John's hands. "Whatever did you do that for? I was fine!"

"You were falling!" 

"Either way, put me down!" Sherlock flared his nostrils, sparks erupting. 

"Ow! That almost hurt!"

"Oh, boo-hoo! Put me on the couch now!"

"Fine!" John, in a very un-delicate manner, placed the dragon on the couch, heading to order the food, leaving Sherlock to fumble with the remote ehich was larger than he.


End file.
